Bic "For Her" Gel Ink Pens

“Retractable jeweled plunger — Delicately designed floral barrel — Floral embossed nose cone — Pearlescent, contoured rubber grip” So sayeth the packaging.

GOOD NEWS, LADIES! Finally, after countless years spent unable to use pens (for they are men’s things, and our constitutions are weak), Bic has made a pen delicate enough that we may have it as our own (provided we have express permission from our husband, father, or other approved male chaperone).

The oppressive world of men’s pens we American women have been barred from. So much testosterone…I think I feel a mustache growing just looking at it…

Really, Bic? I mean, really? Were you having that hard of a time selling pens to half the human population that you felt the need to dig up your condescending 1950s time capsule? Why not bundle it with a recipe book and a dose of Valium? In two little words, you’ve managed to insult half the market, and tell the other half that they aren’t allowed to buy your stupid product. What inconceivably idiotic names did you come up with that “For Her” seemed like a good idea?

How to ruin your product as much as possible with as little effort as possible

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a stereotypically “girly” pen, something fun and cute that you think would appeal to women—BUT CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE. Call it Delicato, call it Moonlily, call it Midnight Rainbow Barnacle for all I care; call it something that doesn’t describe who you think should buy it. Because the message you’ve just sent here is “Women, all our other pens are not for you. This is the pen you’re allowed to buy,” and to men, it says that if you’re interested in this pen, then you’re violating the rigid gender roles of this society. I don’t need this *$!# in a pen! Would you make a pen and label it for a specific race explicitly in the model name? Would you really make a pen and call it “For Whites”? No?? Then don’t do it for gender!!

Marketing should not be this hard, you guys.

It’s sad, because ignoring the name, it’s actually a pretty keen design. The subtle raised embossing is something I haven’t seen before, and it’s an especially nice touch on the nose cone. The plunger, however, shouldn’t be color-coded unless the ink inside matches that color. It’s just common courtesy.

Not that I would expect you, Bic, to know anything about courtesy.

In handwriting this review on Clairefontaine paper using the pen in question, I’m forced to reconsider my initial assessment on the writing sample above. I’ve had several frustrating skip-outs while writing, the kind of ink disappearances I’ve come to expect from most Pilot G2 pens.

Did they think we wouldn’t notice a performance this crappy? NICE TRY, WISEGUYS. I’ve got more than one kind of paper to put a pen to.

With any luck, something/ANYTHING will fit this body, because the refill itself is undesirably shoddy. So far, Uni Signo RT and Zebra Sarasa Push Clip refills have been a no-go.

The Bic “For Her” in a nutshell: pretty but useless. Really hope you’re not trying to say something with that, Bic.

Let’s review. Things it is even vaguely almost acceptable to name “For Her”: hygiene products, various sundries one might encounter in an adult store, an apology for your oblivious misogyny. Things it is not okay to name “For Her”: pens, office supplies, basically anything else in existence. I hope we’ve all learned a valuable lesson.

But which lesson is more valuable: learning to make a pen with a decent refill, or learning to not give your products stupid names?

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